B (neonsuburbia) wrote,

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dont you wish you were weightless?

i dont write in here regularly enough i think oh well things still suck i still have no friends its ok i dont really know what i would do with friends anyway im not very goot at being one i think well who knows i try i wish i was one of those people that could just get wasted and pass out and never wake up or accidentally get hit by a truck as im driving on the highway i usually wish for it when im driving home from work when im driving to work im too worried that ill be late but why? its just a friggin part time job with no meaning at all i could quit anytime but so much importance lies within it i dont know why i just find books for people and work with asshole butch girls and nerdy guys who think theyre smarter than everyone else well thats not fair to say, there are some really nice people but i wouldnt be friends with any of them i wouldnt be friends with anyone there is nobody i want to be friends with except for maybe casey and maris but they live in chicago and philly respectively and i just dont have the time to see them but if i cut my hours then i could but then i wouldnt have enough money so i wouldnt be able to so that would suck see im typing really really fast right now and its totally working out but how come i have to be on the internet in some ay to actually write and i cant just sit down and open some word program and actually type out the book in my head? it wont happen i dont know why my therapist thinks i should take a nudie drawing class so i can make friends and maybe meet a boy since its been forever and a day or two or three and then maybe i could go back to school maybe to san francisco who knows i just need to get the hell out of here.

oh ps my dad is a fucking asshole and my sister is psychotic. i am being completely literal here.
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